oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
