Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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