wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
