Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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