who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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