I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
