You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
