I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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