They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
