i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
