Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
