I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize