Your mouth is God's brothel.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
