I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
