i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she told me i tasted like america
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
