My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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