I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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