Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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