Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
