i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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