we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
