She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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