i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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