Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
