Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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