Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize