He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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