Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
