Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
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I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
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He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.