Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When are your genitals available?