You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize