friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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