Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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