he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
