i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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