you have to choose: penises or morals?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We have so much sex to catch up on
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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