i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
