i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
