Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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