On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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