your thong is hanging out like whoa
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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