Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
