What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
