I wanna bring you to show and tell
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
