so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize