How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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