good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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