I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
