I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
