they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
