found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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