And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
