Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize