If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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