sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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