Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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