Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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