alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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