What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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