just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
